The Gift of Imperfection for Tweens: Part One Lesson One

Brene Brown Discusses Courage, Compassion and Connection

This portion of the Brene Brown The Gift of Imperfection course was easier for my tween. She was excited to start crafting with her mom, loved the idea of looking through pictures of herself, and wasn’t too challenged by the topics yet.

Observations and Adaptations

1. Permission Slips – At first, my tween claimed she didn’t really “get” why she needed a permission slip to participate in the course. But after we watched the video clip and dug just one layer deeper into the conversation, she came up with a profound response. 

Like profound.

I won’t share it here, because it’s hers to share, but I encourage you not to give up if your tween doesn’t take a flying leap out of the gate when you start the course! Give it a moment. Be vulnerable first. Then try again. I was so impressed…

2. Perfection Pledge – I may have actually gotten more out of this one in the moment than my daughter. She doesn’t realize she is a “pleaser” just like her momma, so my hope is some day she will look back at this entry and experience the healing it intended. 

So what did I learn from this exercise? Your tween is still growing in not only WHO they are, but also in their awareness of who they are. It was both interesting and informative to observe that my daughter didn’t recognize the perfectionist in herself yet.

We also had a lot of fun this night – she loves seeing pictures of herself, and hello, permission to Sharpie on your hand? She was into that.

Brene browns perfection pledge

3. Courage is a Heart Word – Things got a little squirrely here. My daughter became insecure about her crafting ability, and I noticed her comparing her work to mine. 

We had a healthy discussion about not comparing ourselves to others – especially in exercises like these in which we were supposed to embracing our real selves. And I was able to share stories about how I compared myself to one of my parents quite a bit growing up and what that did to me and my self-image.

We agreed to work at the same table together but not look at each other’s work. (Note: This lasted for exactly ONE night, and then she was over it.)

On a topic related to the exercise, we had a great conversation about who the important people in our lives really were. We discussed what good, true, forever friends were, and she was able to name one. We talked about the kinds of things we might share about ourselves with those individuals. And then we talked about who just “regular friends” were, what to share, and how to protect our hearts.

This conversation, while important for us adults to keep in perspective, I felt, was infinitely relevant to her life stage! 

I hope this was helpful to you! To see how my tween and I adapted and experienced other lessons, go back to the main post here: The Gift of Imperfection Adapted for a Tweenager.

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