You are Not Alone and It’s Not Forever
To the Mommas who had a not-so-Happy Mother’s Day, for whatever reason: it happens.
And I feel you.
I’m 15 years and 5 kids in – no pro-mom here, just a pro-survivor with some of experience speaking – and I can tell you, it does.
If it hasn’t yet and doesn’t ever, thank Jesus!
But for some of us…
The Sometimes of Mother’s Day
Sometimes, on Mother’s Day, we don’t get to sleep in, and no one brings us breakfast in bed. Sometimes instead you eat a donut that you bought yourself alone at the kitchen counter.
Sometimes there are no cards or flowers or cheesy handmade gifts waiting for you on the kitchen table in the morning because the overworked, well-meaning hubby forgot them at work in his rush to get home and the four year-old stuffed her art under her change of clothes in her backpack and you’ll find it in June when you clean it out for her. Shoved and crumpled under the Father’s Day art, likely.
Sometimes, on Mother’s Day, no one even really says Happy Mother’s Day to you until like 10 am – even when you live in a house full of people – because they are all grumpily getting ready for church. And you are making them, so you’re basically evil. The person who does smile at you and say Happy Mother’s Day is the greeter at church who holds the door for you as all your children trample your toes to file in ahead of you.
Sometimes, even though you adore your kids, sometimes they are hard all. day. long. And you fight with your husband. And before you go to bed, you literally have to shovel your kids’ (yes, multiple kids) sh*t out of the toilet because no plunger can handle all that. Then, thinking about poop and smelling like bleach, you eat a piece of cake you bought for yourself alone before crawling into bed, again, alone because your husband is on swing shift…again.
And I’m so sorry if that was your Mother’s Day. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t.
What I am learning, from my experience as both as a daughter and a mother, is often times little humans don’t really understand Mother’s Day until they are well into raising their own children.
As little humans, we don’t really “see” our mothers for the amazing, ever sacrificing, long-suffering miracles that they are. We don’t appreciate that everything our mothers did for us was a choice – she didn’t have to do any of it really. And we don’t understand, when Mother’s Day does come, how to meaningfully acknowledge the ways our mothers blessed us for our whole entire existence.
We Can’t Help But Be Grateful
But there is hope, Momma. If the only constant is change itself then you have to know this too will change. Because then little humans grow up.
Out of the house now, our brains finish developing, we have some hard life experiences, maybe we start a family, and through all the crap of life, our Moms are always there for us. In step.
We really grow up – and we get it. We “get” her.
Suddenly, we can see our mothers, truly. And we can’t help but be grateful.
Sadly sometimes, mothers move on, and it’s too late to tell them all the things you are learning about motherhood. How mind-blowingly grateful you are.
So there’s that, and, God, I hope that’s not your situation…That is so hard.
So say all the things if you can – now that you know. It’s not too late.
Promise for the Future
But Momma, the takeaway, the promise, is is that some day those babies will know.
They will see you.
We can’t help but be grateful for our mommas.
And when that happens, you won’t ever eat a donut you bought for yourself alone at the kitchen counter again. You will be celebrated. And honored.
And you will know how important it is to celebrate and honor the Mommas coming up behind you. Because we need each other.
And it will be glorious.
So maybe today wasn’t glorious. Not today. Sometimes Mother’s Day sucks. But someday…I’m holding onto that. Someday.
I hope you will, too.
A special nod to my auntie and mother-in-law who showed me a little love yesterday and today. You all saved it.