Why You Should Keep Making New Year’s Resolutions + Mine.

It’s three days into 2018, and I’ve avoided writing this. Why? Because really it is a confession that, underneath it all my perky, I am a Scrooge.

In the past, I have been on both sides of the resolution-fence – the side that makes and the side that rejects. This year, after a long, grumpy period of being a rejector (no judgement), I felt myself shifting.

Like an icy breeze blowing in through poorly insulated windows, it was unexpected. Brr.

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Resources: Understand Your Worthiness

Whether you are a single mom or just having a hard day, sometimes you need someone else to remind you of your self worth.

Here a handful of books and videos that will do just that! There is so much good stuff out there, so limited this to five.

Books to Read

  1. Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance
  2. Uninvited
  3. The Purpose Driven Life
  4. The Gift of Imperfection
  5. The Road Less Traveled

Videos to Watch

  1. The Art of Being Yourself by Caroline McHugh
  2. Knowing Your Worth by Fardousa Jama
  3. Claiming Your Identity by Understanding Your Self Worth by Judge Helen Whitener
  4. The Power of Believing You Can Improve by Carol Dwek
  5. A Kinder, Gentler Philosophy of Success by Alain De Botton

People to Follow on Social

  1. Brene Brown
  2. Michelle Obama
  3. Zig Ziglar
  4. Rachel Hollis
  5. Francis Chan

What do you read or watch when you need a lift? Who do you turn to? Share your resources in the comments below.

Three Ways to Motivate Your Child After School

This is part two of a two-part series about intrinsic motivation. Read part one now.

One of the hardest times of the day to inspire intrinsic motivation in a child is after eight hours of academia of any kind. But that doesn’t mean its not worth the effort. Why? Because there is a truly invaluable lesson to be learned at this time of the day for all of us:

How we find it in us to keep doing what needs doing when we really don’t want to.

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The Gift of Imperfection for Tweens: Part One Lesson One

Brene Brown Discusses Courage, Compassion and Connection

This portion of the Brene Brown The Gift of Imperfection course was easier for my tween. She was excited to start crafting with her mom, loved the idea of looking through pictures of herself, and wasn’t too challenged by the topics yet.

Observations and Adaptations

1. Permission Slips – At first, my tween claimed she didn’t really “get” why she needed a permission slip to participate in the course. But after we watched the video clip and dug just one layer deeper into the conversation, she came up with a profound response. 

Like profound.

I won’t share it here, because it’s hers to share, but I encourage you not to give up if your tween doesn’t take a flying leap out of the gate when you start the course! Give it a moment. Be vulnerable first. Then try again. I was so impressed…

2. Perfection Pledge – I may have actually gotten more out of this one in the moment than my daughter. She doesn’t realize she is a “pleaser” just like her momma, so my hope is some day she will look back at this entry and experience the healing it intended. 

So what did I learn from this exercise? Your tween is still growing in not only WHO they are, but also in their awareness of who they are. It was both interesting and informative to observe that my daughter didn’t recognize the perfectionist in herself yet.

We also had a lot of fun this night – she loves seeing pictures of herself, and hello, permission to Sharpie on your hand? She was into that.

“Brene

3. Courage is a Heart Word – Things got a little squirrely here. My daughter became insecure about her crafting ability, and I noticed her comparing her work to mine. 

We had a healthy discussion about not comparing ourselves to others – especially in exercises like these in which we were supposed to embracing our real selves. And I was able to share stories about how I compared myself to one of my parents quite a bit growing up and what that did to me and my self-image.

We agreed to work at the same table together but not look at each other’s work. (Note: This lasted for exactly ONE night, and then she was over it.)

On a topic related to the exercise, we had a great conversation about who the important people in our lives really were. We discussed what good, true, forever friends were, and she was able to name one. We talked about the kinds of things we might share about ourselves with those individuals. And then we talked about who just “regular friends” were, what to share, and how to protect our hearts.

This conversation, while important for us adults to keep in perspective, I felt, was infinitely relevant to her life stage! 

I hope this was helpful to you! To see how my tween and I adapted and experienced other lessons, go back to the main post here: The Gift of Imperfection Adapted for a Tweenager.

Three Ways To Promote Intrinsic Motivation In a Child Before School

Whether or not you know it yet, the child you want to develop through your parenting efforts is a self-motivated one. Why? Because intrinsically motivated kids are empowered to take care of themselves when you’re not looking. Or micro-managing. Or fretting.

Here are three ways to develop intrinsic motivation in your child before they head out the door for school.
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