When my oldest two were just six and nine and our family was the early stages of blending, the four of us sat down at the kitchen table together to talk about who we were and wanted to be as a family. Blending What Is First, the plan was for each member of the family … Continue reading Blended Traits: An Exercise In Family Identity
"The first thing you should know is that this isn't actually a letter to my son. Why? Because teenagers don't read heart-felt letters from their mothers, and that's the truth."
Conflict. In my experience, which could be saying something right there, it happens in every relationship. Sometimes it's easy to forgive. Sometimes it's easy to move on. But sometimes it's worse in one relationship than in another - or worse at certain times. Sometimes, it's more painful. Stinging. Sometimes it leaves you a little breathless, … Continue reading Will You Be The Hero?
It's twelve days into the new year, and my resolution to love people better so far has been a big fat flop. From the outside, I am almost certain my relationships still look like giant, frozen popsicle-trees on the landscape of my life. Bizarre and unmoving. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't … Continue reading The Great Thaw (or Oh Yeah, Love is a Choice)
I love Brene Brown. I love her work. I love her spunk. I love that Oprah loves her. And I want to take all her classes. I feel like when I do, I might finally understand myself and become more of a grown up. Ha! But when I came across the class The Gifts of … Continue reading Adapting Brene Brown’s Course “The Gifts Of Imperfection” for a Tweenager
One day it didn't come. It just stopped. It wasn't the first time, but somehow we are never ready for it when the child supports stops. Surely it was just because of the long weekend. It was Labor Day. I'm sure that's the lag. It will come. And sometimes it does, but if you've been … Continue reading When Child Support Stops
A Story About Family Identity From the Ground Up This week we lost our family dog to cancer, and while the dog was truly the sweetest pup ever, I find myself grieving my mother who gave us the dog and has herself been dead for more than three years. It feels like with every little … Continue reading Mourning My Saints, Remembering My Roots
Traditional Memorial Altars with a Twist. This bind was an accident, really. It was initiated when our family suffered several deaths. Not only had we lost our beloved dog Paris, but my mother had also recently died in a tragic accident. They are represented by the pictures and stuffed animal and wild flowers, rock and … Continue reading The Bound Altar: Honoring Who is Really on Our Hearts
Co-Parenting from High Ground For Justine, a fellow parent with limited co-parenting options. I had big plans for this article. It was going to be didactic and helpful - a foundational resource article for parents trying to co-parent amicably. Then I read a story about a parent trying to better her life - setting life … Continue reading What to Do When Co-parenting Isn’t an Option
What’s In a Name? In high school, I got an award for being an “Advice Queen.” At the time (thank you seventeen), I was flattered thinking it meant people thought I was wise. Now, I’m sure that what it really meant was that I shared a heap of unsolicited opinions about things that were none … Continue reading Why Labels Matter, Like It or Not (This is Why I’m Renaming My Husband)