Will You Be The Hero?

Conflict. In my experience, which could be saying something right there, it happens in every relationship.

Sometimes it’s easy to forgive. Sometimes it’s easy to move on.

But sometimes it’s worse in one relationship than in another – or worse at certain times. Sometimes, it’s more painful. Stinging. Sometimes it leaves you a little breathless, feeding anxiety and bitterness and doubt, until its resolved. And even then, sometimes, it lingers.

Continue reading

When Child Support Stops

One day it didn’t come. It just stopped. It wasn’t the first time, but somehow we are never ready for it when the child supports stops.

Surely it was just because of the long weekend. 

It was Labor Day. I’m sure that’s the lag. It will come. 

And sometimes it does, but if you’ve been blessed enough to have the financial support of the other parent for any amount of time, you know the rhythm. And this time, the rhythm said, “It’s not coming.”
Continue reading

What you call a step-parent matters

Why Labels Matter, Like It or Not (This is Why I’m Renaming My Husband)

What’s In a Name?

In high school, I got an award for being an “Advice Queen.” At the time (thank you seventeen) I was flattered thinking it meant people thought I was wise.

Now, I’m sure that what it really meant was that I shared a heap of unsolicited opinions about things that were none of my business (thank you thirty-three), and people noticed.

Though I’m sure I am a little more legitimately wise, am careful about sharing my opinions and try desperately hard not to give unsolicited advice, thank goodness I have a good friend who really is wise and really does give good advice.

Recently, she gave me a gem about labeling or naming. She said, “Call it what you want it to be.”

It got me thinking.
Continue reading

how i lost to win

How I Won Back My Family By Losing the Fight

PeaceKeeping: Leaving the Charge & Losing to Win

I didn’t intend to start with a story about warfare. But this is reality.

Our families are under attack. 

Whether the first thought that popped into your head when you read that statement was a connection to what’s happening in the world today, outside the boundaries of your own family, or a connection to a personal struggle you are having within it, I bet you know the attack I’m talking about.

You probably have an opinion about it, too. (Feel free to share.) But this is how I’m fighting. Continue reading