The Great Thaw (or Oh Yeah, Love is a Choice)

It’s twelve days into the new year, and my resolution to love people better so far has been a big fat flop.

From the outside, I am almost certain my relationships still look like giant, frozen popsicle-trees on the landscape of my life.

Bizarre and unmoving.

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know how my insides get so taut, how I turn into a rubber band drawn all the way out until I run out of stretch.

I know.

There are several nuances, but generally, it’s always a combination of poor self-care and unmet expectations. Lack of sleep is also a factor. Always.

I know what causes it, how to prevent it and even how to fix it, and yet, here I am again. All wound up, locked down, and iced over.

But on the inside, I am feeling the thaw.

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Resources: Understand Your Worthiness

Whether you are a single mom or just having a hard day, sometimes you need someone else to remind you of your self worth.

Here a handful of books and videos that will do just that! There is so much good stuff out there, so limited this to five.

Books to Read

  1. Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance
  2. Uninvited
  3. The Purpose Driven Life
  4. The Gift of Imperfection
  5. The Road Less Traveled

Videos to Watch

  1. The Art of Being Yourself by Caroline McHugh
  2. Knowing Your Worth by Fardousa Jama
  3. Claiming Your Identity by Understanding Your Self Worth by Judge Helen Whitener
  4. The Power of Believing You Can Improve by Carol Dwek
  5. A Kinder, Gentler Philosophy of Success by Alain De Botton

People to Follow on Social

  1. Brene Brown
  2. Michelle Obama
  3. Zig Ziglar
  4. Rachel Hollis
  5. Francis Chan

What do you read or watch when you need a lift? Who do you turn to? Share your resources in the comments below.

Three Ways To Promote Intrinsic Motivation In a Child Before School

Whether or not you know it yet, the child you want to develop through your parenting efforts is a self-motivated one. Why? Because intrinsically motivated kids are empowered to take care of themselves when you’re not looking. Or micro-managing. Or fretting.

Here are three ways to develop intrinsic motivation in your child before they head out the door for school.
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When Child Support Stops

One day it didn’t come. It just stopped. It wasn’t the first time, but somehow we are never ready for it when the child supports stops.

Surely it was just because of the long weekend. 

It was Labor Day. I’m sure that’s the lag. It will come. 

And sometimes it does, but if you’ve been blessed enough to have the financial support of the other parent for any amount of time, you know the rhythm. And this time, the rhythm said, “It’s not coming.”
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A Single Mom’s Letter to Her Son

A 12 Year Journey with a Boy

Dear Boy,

On this night 12 years ago, I was several hours into laboring with you. I was alone in my apartment, but in just one hour, I would have enough of the relentless waves of discomfort and call your father to ask him to drive me to the hospital. And not long after, if 12 more hours isn’t long, life would change forever.

With your birth, our family would be born.

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how i lost to win

How I Won Back My Family By Losing the Fight

PeaceKeeping: Leaving the Charge & Losing to Win

I didn’t intend to start with a story about warfare. But this is reality.

Our families are under attack. 

Whether the first thought that popped into your head when you read that statement was a connection to what’s happening in the world today, outside the boundaries of your own family, or a connection to a personal struggle you are having within it, I bet you know the attack I’m talking about.

You probably have an opinion about it, too. (Feel free to share.) But this is how I’m fighting. Continue reading